


Second chances

by Purging_Infinity



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Alternate Ending, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blood and Gore, Blood and Injury, Dubious Consent, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Feeding, Forced Relationship, M/M, Masturbation, Season/Series 08, Spoilers, Stockholm Syndrome, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-19
Updated: 2018-04-23
Packaged: 2019-04-24 23:33:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 20,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14366088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Purging_Infinity/pseuds/Purging_Infinity
Summary: After the end of Season 8 finale.WARNING! SPOILERS AHEAD!Negan recovers in captivity. The communities begin to heal and rebuild. Maggie still believes Negan shoud be killed for his crimes, but Rick won't let it happen.Carl's letter keeps Negan alive as a sort of last will and testiment, but after another close brush with death, Negan gets to find out from Carl himself what his last wishes are.Slow burn.





	1. Bed sores

The sun through his make-shift hospital bedroom is turning hues of orange, telling him the first day of imprisonment is nearly over. It's only been several hours since his capture, most of which he slept off due to the intense pain in his neck.  
Rick Grimes could've slit him ear to ear, jammed that knife in his skull or killed him with his own bat. But he hasn't. There are many people who wish him dead, but Rick has taken things for a turn and heeded his sons dying words.

Continue on, past the fighting. Change what this has become. Save Negan.

And he has. 

But now that hours have past, and everyone at Hill Top is settling down for an evening of dinner and rest, Rick has one more mouth to feed. Another body to tend to, and with the safety risks involved, he dares not to let anyone else tend to the idiot handcuffed to the bed except himself.

Michonne walks with him to Negan's room, holding the tray of food while Rick unlocks the door. They exchange looks before Michonne kisses his dirty forehead and leans against him, "Don't let him get to you, Rick."  
"I won't," he whispers back in promise, "I'll try to be quick and get this over with. It's been a rough night. Go clean up and have something to eat. You deserve that much."  
She nods and leaves him to it then, Rick pushing the door open with the toe of his boot before pushing it shut once he's inside.  
There's a rolling side table he sets the tray upon, the bowl of stew upon it making a rattling sound that pulls Negan out of his haze filled rest.  
Rick barely looks over to him at first, choosing instead to find himself a chair to pull up next to the bed.

"Such hospitality," the older man wheezes.

"I never said you could speak," Rick bites back right away. "I'm not here to listen to you talk, so shut up and eat your food." 

Negan scoffs then, finding that easier said then done. He tugs on both his arms, the handcuffs rattling loudly on either side of the bed in demonstration that he's far from capable of feeding himself right now.  
Rick grumbles, acknowledging that too. He should've figured as much when he came in here, "Yeah, I know."

"Come on then, nurse Rick," Negan prods at him verbally, his voice so hoarse it's practically but a whisper.

"I thought I told you to stop talking?" He snaps at him again, "Shut your mouth unless there's food it in."

It gets him an eye roll from his captive, Negan looking away as he complies for now. With the stitching in pain, it was probably best he not talk right now anyways, but it WAS Negan. Man who couldn't stop running his mouth if he tried. Until now that is.

"Sit foreword. I'll put another pillow back here to prop you up," Rick says while tending to him. He's pulling an extra pillow out from under the bed, waiting until Negan leans forword with an uncomfortable strain in his tone before stuffing it back there. With the man sitting up, the food will go down easier, as much as Rick might get a hilarious thrill out of seeing his enemy drowning to death in soup.  
He scoots his chair closer and picks up the bowl and spoon, trying with just a bit of broth first to see if it effects the stitching around Negan's neck.  
"Open," he quietly orders; but he finds himself being stared at. Intensely.  
He nudges Negan's mouth with the spoon, just wishing he'd stop staring at him like that and eat,"Open yer damn mouth. Don't start this with me. I'm tired and I don't have the patience right now."  
The compliance comes again, the spoon full of food going in and being swallowed, but there's some cringing involved as it goes down. A few small coughs and Rick brings over the cup of water with a straw in it from off the table, letting him sip a few times before taking it away.

"I know this'll take a lot of time to heal, but so will your neck," Rick talks quietly while feeding his prisoner more stew, testing with a few more solid pieces.  
Negan remains silent as he's been instructed, only licking his lips a couple times when fed. He's still looking at Rick, but his eyes narrow some when the topics of change start coming up.  
"You'll be under my watch most of the time. Or Michonne. If your attitude and behavior improves, we'll start taking you outside for fresh air, but you gotta earn it," Rick tells him, their eyes meeting once and a while to reaffirm Negan is listening.  
Negan honestly double thinks spitting in his face right then and resists, knowing it'll get him nowhere. He hates that he's been reduced to this. This captivity bargain where he gets zero control.  
It hurts even more when he feels his body start to do a function he doesn't fucking need right now.  
He refuses the next spoon of food by turning his head slightly, a look of shame in his glossed over eyes.

"What? What's wrong now?"

It hurts to clear his throat for words, but if he doesn't say something soon he'll likely end up pissing his pants, "Bathroom."  
Rick pauses to process the request, then starts looking around for something empty he can use, "It better be number one, cause I'm not wiping your ass."

Negan starts to snicker then. 

He finds it amusing that Rick is going to be forced to handle his private parts on account of not uncuffing at least one of his hands. It's that smart ass smile that Rick hates seeing on Negan's face, that makes him think about letting the man do it himself.  
"Your in luck," Rick says, finding an empty pop bottle lodged under a shelf near the bed. "How do you wanna do this?"

A cuffed hand motions him to come back to the bed, bottle in hand and the lid discarded. The look in his eyes and on his face makes Rick wanna punch him in the throat for good messure before leaning in to hear what he has to whisper, "Wine me, dine me, right?"  
Rick pulls his head back and scoffs a disgusted sound, shaking his head. He knew it was going to be a remark of somekind. Why does he even bother.

He pulls the sheet back, Negan still wearing the same worn in denim jeans he usually does, a brown belt around the middle to stop them sliding off his hips.  
Rick gets the belt undone, along with the pants zipper then has to stop to regain his courage, running his palm over his mouth as he stares at Negan's lap. It's awkward as ever, but Rick forces himself to swallow back the bile in his throat and just do it, tugging the blue boxer briefs down until a length flops free.  
It's half hard and Rick looks up at Negan to see him wink, "You're fucking sick, you know that? I should let you lay here, in your own piss for a few days to smarten you up."

"I can't help it if he likes you, Rick," Negan snickers, coughing again instead of managing a laugh.

"God help me, if I change my mind and smother you in your sleep," Rick growls, taking the dick in his hand and aiming it into the bottle. "Hurry up, I ain't got all evening." He does his best to look away, already wishing he could scrub his hands raw. He waits for the man to do his business before looking down again, giving it a shake before stuffing it back into his underwear.  
The cap is screwed onto the bottle before Rick points a finger into Negan's face, "Not a god damn word. Or you'll be drinking it."

Negan just grins, giving a shrug in silence. At least Rick's hands were warm. He'd have to keep that to himself for the future.

"I'm gonna wash my hands. Then you're gonna eat the rest of this soup so I can go to bed. I'm so done with you today," Rick warns, walking over to the small sink in the corner so he can scrub the filthy feeling off his fingers. It leaves Negan enough time to fidget in his cuffs again, trying to use what mobility he can muster to tug the blanket back over his lap. As much as he wanted to tease and pester Rick to no end, he was also getting cold without the covers.  
When the slender ex-cop comes back, he does what Negan has started. The covers are pulled back up to his chest, tucked in under his arms and rewarming him back up. He almost doesn't hear the words when picking the bowl back up off the tray to resume the feeding.  
"...Thank you."  
It makes Rick flinch, hearing him say those words. He knew Negan was capable of being polite, he just didn't he'd wring it out of him so soon. "Huh. Your welcome.. I guess," he says quietly, stirring the spoon through the stew a few times before filling it and holding it back out.  
"I mean it," he wheezes again, closing his eyes in a moment of rest.  
Rick shakes his head full of curls and laughs to himself about how absurd this all feels and tries to just focus on finishing his task. It's another 4 or 5 minutes of silence from them both before the food is gone and Rick gets back up to leave.  
Stopping at the door, he holds the tray in one hand and knocks to be let out. A guard posted outside the door opens it for him while Rick looks back to the injured man trapped in bed, "Just remember: whatever happens now, you can make it better on yourself the more you admit you're no longer in control. Try and sleep. You're gonna need it."


	2. Wash it clean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan gets some fresh air and is put to work under a watchful eye. Accidents happen, and Negan nearly bites the dust again! Will another brush with death change his stubbornness?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 2.
> 
> I'm writing most of this on the fly, so hopefully it isn't horrible. I could use some lessons in decent writing, so bare with me. No beta has been used for the first 3 chapters.

Two weeks pass without too many problems. There are a lot of group meetings to discuss the next steps for Hill Top, as well as figure out what to do with the Savior's factory.  
There are conserns about safety. Loyalty with those who have surrendered, and what to think of Rick's decision about Negan. Maggie is always protesting against having him alive, as expected, so Rick makes a tough choice and places her in charge of Sanctuary after thinking on it.  
The farther out of sight he is for her, the better she can focus. That's his logic, at least.

Today will be another day of new discovery and change, he also decides. It's time to let the "beast" out of his confinement for some fresh air and exercise.   
Alden is outside, working with their new doctor, Siddiq, to plot where they might begin building new structures on the property. The book which Maggie has left, contains hundreds of ideas for engineering things that will let their land thrive and grow. Rick decides that this is where Negan will start his day.

The sun nearly blinds the man as he steps outside to see the daylight for the first time in weeks. Negan squints and takes in deep breaths of fresh air, looking starved of it as Rick tugs him along by his chains.   
He has a pair of handcuffs on with a chain leading down around his waist. Prison cuffs, minus the ankles, that Rick has kept since their days at the prison.   
He feels like he's on parade, shuffling along through the community while nearly everyone stops to look at him. Like a rare creature in a circus, there to baffle, because Rick has managed to tame him.

"Here," Rick stops him at a large empty space near the log wall. The plot is cleared for building, Alden showing him what needs to be done first to get it started, "We'll need post holes. Four here. About 10 feet deep for stability."  
Rick nods and picks up a shovel which has been left standing against the fence, pushing it into Negan's chest, "You heard him. Start diggin'."   
Looks are exchanged around the group a few times as Negan wrings his hands around the shovels handle, knuckles nearly white.  
"Don't bother. You start a fight and people here won't hesitate to put a bullet in you. Not after all you did. So get to work and earn your keep," Rick warns, taking his colt python out and prodding him in the lower back with it to get a move on.  
With a few grumbles and shifty looks, Negan gets to work, shoving the spade into the dirt at the end of his chain's length.   
Rick holds onto the other end while talking to the other two survivors, "Don't worry. I'll keep my eye on him."

Siddiq is studying Negan from his distance, watching for any signs of progress with his wounds. His hand, mostly. Handling the shovel with his hand wrapped up could cause strain, even after healing for two weeks; so he expresses this to Rick.  
"He's eating okay?" He also asks.

"About as much as he can handle swallowing. It's getting better. Kept complaining his legs were aching from being in bed, so I decided it's time to get him outside. We've got enough extra help now to go around, so I can monitor him without losing ground," he tries to smile at them, but it just looks tired, the joke losing it's strength as he says it, "I'd get him started on the east garden patch, but I think the mans seen his share of enough hoes this lifetime to go around."

Alden nods and chuckles, still finding it funny. The doctor pats Rick on the shoulder in good faith, "I'll see if I can't find you a chair to sit on. I'll be bringing water around later as well. The humidity has been harsh the past few days. I don't need people calling me due to dehydration or stroke. Including him." Siddiq nods towards Negan, digging away at his post hole.

"Fair enough," his leader agrees, and waits to see if a stool or chair can't be found. Rick checks his watch, marking the time of day mntally with the percent of heat baring down on them. If the doctor was right, they'd need to take breaks and park in the shade when they could.

It's about an hour when a folding lawn chair is brought to Rick, a smile and thanks of graditude being enough to brighten Rick's day. He watches Negan stop on occasion to catch his breath before digging again. 

Across the way, there are women putting together sandwiches for lunch and powdered ice tea into a giant garbage pail reserved for making drinks. The few kids in the community are helping, including Judith, who sits on Carol's hip as she mixes the egg salad contents in a bowl with a big wooden spoon.  
Rick waves when they do, blowing kisses to Judith who giggles and hides her face into Carol's shoulder.  
It makes him miss Carl. Reminds him that he can't be here to see this place grow. To see his baby sister get bigger. He wishes he could come back again. So he can see him smile and hug him again.

Rick reminds himself it's okay to miss him. To mourn his son. But it'll never be enough, he thinks.

 

He's zoning out in thought when he feels a hard tug to the chain in his hand. Glancing up, his eyes go wide as he launches himself off the lawn chair towards Negan. The man is bent over near the fence, vomiting and trying hard to breathe through the pain of his esophagus on fire. He quickly shoves Rick away when his shoulder is touched, barking at him to fuck off.   
But Rick keeps trying anyways, more then used to the colorful language of guys around the camp who might be suffering with injuries, "What happened?"

"It's.. it's just this fucking medication making me sick," Negan grumbles. Carol has since put Judith down and left her with one of the other girls cooking, to come see what's the matter. She brings a glass of iced tea with her as well, ready to offer it to either of them once she has some answers, "Heat bugging you?"

Defensive, Negan just growls lowly to piss off and leave him alone. Rick sighs and tells Carol the truth, "The pain meds aren't sitting well. Might be the heat."

Carol's dealt with so much in her time as a survivor that she lets Negan's words roll straight off her back like he's speaking another language. "I'll see if I can find some anti-acids. I think I have a few tucked away. Here," she hands Rick the glass, her somewhat stone-faced expression hinting at a smile, "if he won't drink it, you can at least throw it on him to cool him off."

She walks off towards the mansion, Negan watching for the moment she's out of sight before waving for the cup in Rick's hands.  
When it's given, he downs a gulp then takes another mouth full to swish around his mouth before spitting it out, "Are all your people this fucking nosey?" 

Rick sighs, like explaining this should be common knowledge, "It's not being nosey. It's taking care of each other. You could show some appreciation sometime to people like Carol for going out of their way." It's like talking to an alien, Rick figures. Something that's never seen kindness before. Or would it be safer to just catigorize Negan as a giant 10 year old with a violent streak? 

"Whatever. I'm sittin' down for a minute, boss man," Negan mutters before crawling onto the grass and into the closest patch of shade. Rick has to follow because of the chain leash he's made, so he grabs his lawn chair and drags it over once Negan decides on a spot.

When Carol comes back and tosses the half-roll of tums into Rick's lap, she looks at Negan and sneers, "I'll make sure the kids don't try to pet your new pooch. He looks a little aggressive."

When Negan jerks forword on the chain, Carol instinctively steps back. The look in the mans eyes reminds Carol she shouldn't put it past him that he'd rip her apart.  
Rick puts his boot in front of Negan and pushes him back, using the same method he used to on their old German Shepherd before Carl was born, "Yeaah.. just don't tease him. He bites." He tosses the tums in Negan's lap and watches him shred the packaging to dig out a few. He pops them into his mouth and chucks the rest at Carol's feet, hitting her shoe.  
"Thanks MOM," he mocks in a stupid tone before sitting back against the grass.

"Asshole," she says under her breath as she regathers what's left of the medicine, pushing it into her pocket. "Should send him to day care, maybe he'll learn what manners are," she throws in before going back to cooking lunch. 

Rick finds some of this kind of amusing and smiles, looking over at Negan laying on his back on the ground, "If you keep swearing around the kids, I might have to put a bark collar on you," he jokes.

Negan just groans, staring up into the waving tree braches supplying the shade, "I think you've done enough damage to my neck. I'd rather you didn't."  
It gets him a nod, "Maybe we can reduce you getting so territorial if we snip your balls off. Works on just about everything."

Negan slowly turns his head to look at Rick, clearly too sick to tell if the guy is serious or not. Rick just grins back, changing the subject once the silence draws out, "Five minutes for those anti-acids to kick in, then it's back to work."

Negan closes his eyes, trying to force the earth to slow down for the last minutes he's got left. "I fucking hate you," he grumbles again. "Like, a steel toed kick in the groin when you've got food poisoning, kind of hate."

"That's pretty darn good, when I'm not trying," Rick chuckles. "You'll learn real quick with me. I can be easy going as long as you listen and follow orders, or I can be the one you have nightmares about at the end of the day. You pick."

"I used to be nightmare fuel once. Poor Lucille. She'll never bash another walker skull again.."

Rick gets up out of his seat and grabs Negan under one of his elbows, hoisting him lazy ass off the ground, "Yeah yeah, your bloody bat misses you too, now back to work. Holes ain't gonna dig themselves."

The shovel is scooped up off the ground before Negan stretches and shuffles back over to what he started.  
The sandwiches and ice tea make their way around too, Rick just holding Negan's plate on his arm rest. The food is eyeballed while shoveling, Rick chewing on his own when he tries to talk, "You can have it when you finish one more hole."  
Negan glares, feeling like the rules being set are the same you'd use to motivate a child to get chores done. Yet he thinks it's fair, so he digs, and digs, and digs till the bandage on his hand is stained through with blood, and the stupid hole is finished.

"Good job. See? Wasn't so hard," Rick goades him, giving him his plate. He watches Negan nearly inhale the food before laying back on the cool grass again.  
"When your ready, we'll go inside and you can shower," he checks his watch, nodding, "Nearly 5. I gotta put you back in your room for a bit so I can go help with stock checks. Michonne and the others will want to even the supplies back out between Hill Top and Sanctuary within the next few days."

The idea of having everything so equal, so evened out between everyone, makes Negan feel sick again. He worked his ass off to gain everything in Sanctuary, and now it's being redistributed? What a bunch of bull. 

"I know it bugs you, hearing how we'll change things you did. Always my way or the highway with you. Too bad you don't get to say anymore. That privilage goes to people we trust," Rick taunts him, tugging the chain a few times to tell him that it's time to go. "Come on, no need to drag it out. You'll get more time outside again tomorrow when I put you back to work."

Great. More work. Like Negan wants to be some bitches rock cracker in a prison. Stick the old ball and chain to his ankle while you're at it, why don't you?

He stumbles half a step before following wherever Rick wants to take him by force. His body is tired, sweaty, and his stomach feels like garbage. If he's gonna get clean, the most he can hope for now, is simply hot running water to ease the muscle pain.  
He stinks, and it's evident from how soaked through his white t-shirt is in numerous places, that today was to Rick's liking.  
They go back into the huge house, towards the wing Negan's room was in. When they stop, it's to talk to the middle eastern doctor who's been treating him. Rick's gun is aimed at his back when they greet Siddiq again, Rick just letting him know he's going to run Negan through the wash first before his check up.  
"Sounds good. I'll be here straightening up when you get back," the young man says as Rick tugs Negan along again.

There's a bathroom not two doors down from the medical room, a cart outside fully stocked with towels and small hotel bars of soap. Rick nudges him again, telling him to take one of each then get inside the room.  
He leaves his gun belt and weapons on the bathroom door knob outside, so nothing can be used against him, should his prisoner get brave.  
The door is locked and Negan turns around to face him, raising a brow, "You're staying? Again?"

Rick grabs the cuffs, unlocking them one at a time before tucking them in his police belt pouch with the keys, "I ain't letting you stay in this house, in ANY room in this house, alone. Period. I'd kill you before I let you hurt any more innocent people."  
Negan rubs his wrists, the feeling to get them off again rather euphoric, "Fine. Paranoia strikes again," he mocks, wigging his fingers in the air on his good hand.  
"Guess you've already seen everything anyways," he continues, stepping away from Rick and towards the standing shower.   
Rick closes the furry lid to the toilet and sits down, picking up a Reader's Digest printed from years ago. He starts reading, slouched back as Negan hesitates on undressing.   
He's looking for anything of use in here for a fight, but not finding a lot. The window venting fresh air into the room is tiny at the top of the wall, hardly big enough to accomidate his lanky frame to escape through. It leaves him looking at himself in the mirror. The reflection makes him uneasy. Upset with himself over still being like this when Carl begged him to give up in his letter.  
The idea of breaking some mirror and attacking Rick with it, quickly goes away, replaced with guilt instead.

"Quit stalling and get in there!" Rick yells at him then, seeing as he's hardly undressed himself.   
"Oh go fuck yerself," he snaps back while pulling his shirt off over his head. "Can't even get some privacy around here," he continues to grumble and mumble before reaching into the shower and turning the water on to warm up.  
It's a bit harder when he goes to do his pants next though, as one hand is almost immobile in it's gause. He handled the shovel pretty good today, but it's clearly left a toll seen through the bandage wrappings and how swollen his fingers are.  
"Damn.. belt," Negan growls more, walking over to Rick to get some help. He clearly hates asking for it, but now he just wants to be alone in the shower, and he isn't gonna get it unless he asks for assistance.

"We need to get these off so you can wash the dirt out," Rick says quietly, not at all resisting when asked to help. He lets Negan undo his jeans and kick them off before standing in his underwear, holding a shaking, injured hand out towards the ex-officer.   
"Just... don't push on it," he begs Rick quietly, feeling humbled from all this help he needs.

Rick carefully unwraps the gause as some of the steam from the shower starts to fill up the room. It's nearly three rolls worth all the way around Negan's hand and up his wrist. He can see where stitches have come open, a few droplets hitting the bathroom floor as Rick takes the under padding away, "Shit. We'll get Siddiq to fix this once you're clean, okay? Just take it easy. Try not to move your fingers too much, it'll slow the bleeding."

Rick has to stand up from the toilet before he can unwrap his other set of bandages, the ones around his neck taped down in the back. "Hold still, this tape's bein' stubborn," Rick tells him from behind, Negan able to see him from the mirror at the bathroom sink. A few tugs causes Negan to cough, bringing his hands up to pull at the cotton wrapping. Once it's off, he can feel just how cool the air difference is without it on. He sighs loudly, eyes rolling around before going to the mirror to look at it.   
It's the first time he's actually seen it without the bandages on, and it shocks him a bit. How long the cut is. The black thread tied in knots, dotting all the way to the other end. He counts them, getting up to 26 before he can't see under his jawline anymore.  
Tears start to well in his eyes before he chokes them back and reequips his neutral face back on, shoulder lightly shoving against Rick as Negan moves towards the shower.  
Rick steps out of the way, only watching him stare in the mirror with the idea of counting stitches. Nothing more. He doesn't see how weak, or how lost he looks when he runs his fingers over the threads the first time.  
He sits back down on the toilet and waits there, fidgeting with his ring while he thinks to himself. He'd need a shower sometime too, but he still had work to be done first. There was no point getting clean twice today.  
He doesn't notice when underwear is shucked and kicked away, the nude form escaping inside the shower stall. The door is made out of an opaque glass, which gives Negan a bit more privacy but allows Rick to still see that he's in there.  
After adjusting the water where he wants it, Negan is just standing there though, letting it hit him over the head and drown his sorrow.  
He holds his injured, shaking hand, close to his body like it will protect it from any more abuse. He can feel how much it stings to get just simple water dripping into the open cuts. He tries his best not to start swearing in the shower and suffices with sucking air in through his teeth when it starts to get too much.   
The water feels good against his back, so he does his best to just shield his sore hand with the other and let the pressure pound against the parts that need cleaning.   
The tiny bar of soap is scrubbed everywhere he can reach, save his injuries and the side of his body his useful hand is attached to. He curses quietly upon not thinking this through enough before getting in. Screw it, he'll just have to deal. He scrubs his hair with the same soap, rushing to get it done when his hand starts to protest it's had enough. There's blood mixed into the water pooling around his feet before heading down the drain. Once the water turns off, Rick looks up to see an arm extend out the door.

"Towel."

He provides the hand with one before it retreats back into the stall to dry Negan off where it's still warm inside. Plus his hand continues to drip, so it's better to keep such things where they can be washed away.

"Do you need my help?" Negan hears the southern drawl say from the other side of the door. He scrunches his nose at first, finding it ridiculous, then thinks of it otherwise.  
The part of Negan that likes to cause havoc is now swirling around in his head, taking up that polite offer provided.  
"Yes. Yes actually I do. Mind grabbing a second towel? And maybe a fucking tampon? My hand is still bleeding all over the floor here."

Rick rolls his eyes at this, finding a better alternative. He grabs an old shower cap from in the cupboard that no one bothers using and knocks on the door, "Just.. put this around it until you get some stitches."

The door opens and shuts, taking the cap inside. It looks stupid as hell, but it works. When he steps out of the shower, Negan has the first towel wrapped around his waist. All the tattoos up his arms and chest are exposed so Rick can see them all. He'd like to say he was doing it on purpose but...  
"Still need that second towel," Negan sing-songs as he looks at Rick oddly.   
He holds his hand over the sink while waiting, too worried more blood will hit the floor. Rick grabs another towel from the cart outside the door and throws it to Negan, unsure what it's even for.  
He watches as the towel is destroyed by blood, the shower cap ditched and the towel tied as tightly as possible around his appendage.  
"Grab my clothes, we are going RIGHT FUCKING NOW," Negan bellows looking rather freaked out.   
Rick dislikes that he's being ordered around, but from how much blood is soaking into that towel, he's wondering if Negan is bleeding or losing a freakin thumb!  
Still wrapped in his towel, he doesn't care about protocol anymore. He's running down the hallway towards Siddiq's office, the smaller male nearly peeing himself upon seeing Negan with no Rick OR cuffs on.  
"Oh my god. Come here! The stitching is ripped. Lay down on the table, we have to fix this right now!" Siddiq is yelling before Rick catches up with all of Negan's junk. It's tossed onto a chair before he hurries over to help the doctor where he can, "Rick! The sutures and the needles!" He's pointing, and Rick is on it like hot glue.  
Negan's laying flat on the gurney with his arm out as the doctor rushes to pinch off an artery making allthe mess. It's clipped with a pen cap of all things, until the tools are brought over.   
Rick does his best to fill in as nurse, passing the young intern what he calls for. When it's time to start threading, he tells Rick to hold the pen cap still for him.

Rick looks up to see that Negan has since passed out from blood loss, his one eyelid open far enough he can see his eye rolling back, "Shit, we need to get him stable. We're gonna lose him."

It's the fastest sewing job Rick's ever seen under pressure, but he's so proud of Siddiq for getting it done. The artery is tied off, repaired and the skin is closed around it. Cleaning could come once they had things under control. They then work together to begin to handle the next problem, checking to make sure Negan's heart hasn't stopped.  
"Loading a shot of adrenaline. I'll start CPR if he stops breathing. I need you to fetch me two bags of universal blood from the next room. Green fridge with the cross on it. Go!" The doctor orders him, and Rick is out of the room, dodging around Carol who's come back into the house for random reasons. She yells to Rick, asking what's wrong while he's digging into the refrigerator for the blood bags, "Negan's hand tore open. He's losing blood."

She rushes to his aid, pointing things out for him to take, throwing them all onto a metal tray before following Rick back into the other room. She'd always been good with first aid before the group came across a doctor or Herschel's farm, so his trust with her is strong.

Siddiq makes Rick hold the IV up for him while he starts a line into the older mans arm, using the back of his good hand to attach the medical tape and IV needle.  
He checks his heart beat and breathing with the stethoscope, sighing loudly out of relief, "It's stable, but weak. Fuck that was getting close."  
He smiles to their extra helper, quietly thanking Carol for coming to assist.

Carol holds the tray, cutting pieces of tape as needed, distributing rolls of gause once the injured hand is disinfected and wiped clean, "Y'know, he's turning out to be a bit of a burden. He's cute, but a gaint pain in everyone's ass."

"Tell me about it," Rick sighs, keeping his plastic blood bag elevated.

"Just get him back in his room and let him rest. No more work with his hand until it heals properly!" Siddiq lectures him, shaking his finger in a serious manner. "I mean it. No shovels. No punching. Nothing."

"Guess I'll cuff him back to the bed again. Won't be thrilled, but it'll get it done. Here, help me get him into a wheel chair, I'll get him home," the sheriff instructs, and the young doctor comes over to help him lift Negan by the other end, near his feet.  
Carol pulls a wheel chair over from the corner, screwing a metal IV poll into the back piece of the chair.  
On the count of three, they lift and sit the body down onto the seat, still clad in his now blood speckled towel. Carol takes the IV and hooks it at the top of the poll, pushing Negan's head back with her hand as he starts to slump forewords, "Well.. back to the usual for me. Guess I'll take these too. Laundry's gotta be done." She scoops up Negan's clothes off the chair that Rick has tossed there and makes a scrunched face at the smell, "Hoof. Good lord."  
"Thanks Carol. I owe you," Rick smiles to her.  
She smiles back and shakes her head before wondering off, "Nah, maybe later."


	3. A sweet dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan dreams. Rick needs to decide how to handle the giant horde getting closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm already getting positive feed back! Awesome! I've never posted my writings before, so to hear that people are liking it is freakin' exciting! Will try to post up chapters often! 
> 
> Enjoy!

The room is nearly silent. It's blissful to just feel so at peace for a change. No worry about leading the Saviors, no Rick Grimes breathing down his neck, and definitely no walkers outside the living room windows.

It's perfect. He can even smell dinner cooking in the background as he naps on the sofa, eyes closed and the sun on his face keeping him warm.  
It's peaceful until he feels another human being stop in front of him, blocking his rays of blissful mid-day sunshine.

"Is your name really Marion?" The voice asks.

He hasn't heard that name in nearly 3 years now. It makes him frown. He cracks open a tired brown eye and finds Carl crouched next to the sofa, staring at him. He clearly doesn't care that Negan is.. no, WAS.. trying to sleep.   
He clears his throat a few times and blinks, trying to get his eyes to focus, "Only if you're giving me a speeding ticket," he answers tiredly.

Carl grins at him, getting bravely cheaky, "It sounds like a girls name." He tugs on Negan's shoulder after getting back up, trying to get him to move, "Come on. It's almost ready. You gotta try some."

Negan's not even sure why this feels out of place yet. His dream convinces him this is how it should be. That there is no apocalypse outside the livingroom window, or food shortages causing people to kill each other. Nope, there's other kids outside playing in the neighborhood, food on the stove and Lucille very much alive next to Carl in the kitchen.   
He shuffles in there, unable to form any words as he stands there and watches his ex-wife kiss Carl on top of his long brown haired head, "Mwah. Oh, yer such a good little helper. This smells so good! Here, take the plates and go set the table."

She stops to look at Negan as Carl walks past him, carrying the dishes to the dinner table. "Hey sleepy head," she says to him with a bright smile. His eyes start to water, tearing up like he might just start sobbing right there for no reason. All he can manage to whisper back is a tiny , "Hi."

"Finally peeled your lazy butt off the couch, huh?" She continues to say, picking up the pot of spaghetti off the stove and taking it towards him. He's right in her way though, so she stops and smiles again, scoffing like his crying is embaressing her, "Oh stop, big baby. Come and eat!"   
He gets a quick kiss to his cheek before she moves around him and puts the pot on the table.   
Carl is already settling into his spot, pouring some lemonade into a glass for Negan as he shakily sits down in the provided chair.  
"I heard about that chump from work, Simon? You did the right thing, firing him. No good for kids, I said. Wasn't even honest to the adults during half-time. What a jerk," Lucille rambles as she starts to dish out the food. She scoops some for Carl first, then a big helping for Negan, who's still slightly lost at the moment.  
"Yeah.. yeah. He h-had to go," Negan says under his breath. He turns his head and looks at Carl, squinting slightly. The boy looks healthy. No giant hole in his eye socket, fed, clean clothes. It felt eerie.

"I told little Carl here, you'd make friends with his Daddy. You're gonna play nice with Rick and the others now, aren't you?" The tone at the end is nearly chastising and makes Negan grit his teeth. At least she hadn't changed much.

"Do you like it?" Carl asks then, throwing Negan off his consentration. "I remembered you liked it, so I learned how to make some. Burnt the sauce the first time. Tastes better with garlic in it now. You should show Judith when she's old enough."

Negan is staring again, at Carl and how happy he looks. He wonders then if he's dead, or just dreaming, "You wrote me a letter. But.. but I.." 

"I wrote a lot of letters," Carl admits between fork fulls of food, "If it matters, I mean. You should listen to Dad, like I said. You'll see."

He feels Lucille place her hand on top of his then, his head turning the other way to look at her, "If you quit acting like such an ass all the time, people might start to like you Mare. You need love to get through this world. Love, friends.."

"And one of those cool katanas like Michonne's got. Cuts those stupid zombies RIGHT in half. Shing!!" Carl nods as he swirls his fork around more noodles.

"People want to kill me. I don't diserve..." Negan sighs, "I'm gonna kiss anyones ass anymore. If I can't lead, then I've lost. What good am I now?"

"Marion, look at me," his wife says, placing her hand againt his bearded face, "You are SO brave, surviving out there. But you need to stop being so selfish. Teach them. Like you taught the kids at the school. Be a bigger man. Have faith in yourself."

A few tears drop, hitting her fingers then as she strokes his face, "I-I can't," he whimpers.

"Yes you can. You team up with that boys father, and you SHOW them how strong they can be! You are both smart men! That wave of dead people coming towards the house ain't got a hope in the world against my husband!"

Negan looks confused, head tilting like his wife's ghost just said she took over as President, "What dead people?"

\-------

The sun has almost finished setting in the west. Rick sits with Michonne on the balcony in the rear of the giant house and looks out with binoculars at the massive horde of shufflers off the highway.  
"I give um four days, max. A few might be ahead f the pack, so people on guard duty will want to use as much stealth as possible to keep the others from coming."

Michonne can smell the smoke coming off the gears in Rick's head grinding. Whatever he decided to do about things, she was behind him one-hundred percent, "I should let Maggie know about arrangements soon. Do you have a plan yet?"   
"Not exactly. We need to keep them away from the settlements. If it means we make a ruckus closer to the river, then that's what we might have to do. I hate to contaminate the water though," Rick ponders, scratching at his grown out chin.  
"I'll come up with something tonight. You can ride with Daryl tomorrow and help Maggie set up if we end up using Sanctuary as a base."

"Sounds good. Now lets go get you something to eat. Need to fuel that brain if you're gonna keep wearing it out," she jokes. He takes her hand and nods, both going back inside the house.  
Dinner is ready when they reach the main hall. The fold up tables have been set out again in pot latch style, allowing bowls of food to be set out and dished up by line.   
Daryl stands next to Rick in the line up and he passes over what news he has for the day in reguards to building more structures.  
"Got a good look at the cloud of walkers coming. It's big, Daryl. Two-hundred, maybe three. We've never dealt with something this size before. I told Michonne you'd take her to help Maggie at the factory once I have a plan," Rick tells him quietly, trying not to cause panic amongst the other dwellers. "But I hate admitting I don't really have one. We can thin the herd with what we got, but it's not gonna be enough to clean house."

"Damn. And ammos gettin' sparse too. Even with Eugine back, we ain't caught up enough for this bullshit.."

"Exactly. I think holding everyone up in Sanctuary will be the best bet for survivors, but anyone helping fight is gonna need a plan."

Daryl nods as he passes through the line, the cooks lobbing potato salad and baked beans onto his paper plate, "I'll think while I eat. Come see me before lights out. Hopefully I'll have some suggestions for some traps."

Rick thanks him, recieving a pat on the back before getting his own food. He holds a second plate out to Carol as he reaches her at the end of the line, her tongs dropping him the other half a hot dog on his plate, "Gotta go feed the dog," he jokes, and she clues in with a chuckle.   
"Don't spoil him too much," she kids back as he walks off with the meal.

Once Rick devours his own, he's off to the medical wing to bring Negan his dinner and check to see if he's woken up yet.  
He unlocks the door and lets himself in, Negan barely opening his eyes to see who's there. After being in this room long enough, he learns better to expect anyone other then Rick.  
"God that smells good," he rasps, throat dry from sleep.  
"How you feeling? You gave us a good scare before. Thought your heart was gonna quit," the curly haired brunette informs. He pulls up his usual chair and waits to see if Negan has clued in to the tiny change of comfort, his injured hand not having a cuff on it.  
Negan uses his elbows to push himself up a bit, Rick flopping the second pillow behind him as Negan feels it. He lifts his injured hand and looks it over, the wrapping so thick it looks like a big white cotton mitten on his hand, "What a waste of gause," he whines to himself before putting it back down.

Rick safely assumes he's been sleeping this entire time if he's only noticing it now,"I need to ask you for your opinion on something," 

Negan rolls his eyes, the usual tone of ignorance in his voice when he's being asked to do something, "The fuck did you break now, Grimes?"

Rick hesitates on bringing the food closer, the teasing making Negan's stomach growl loudly, "I didn't BREAK anything. I need your advice on land in the area. Mostly around Sanctuary. You know the area better then anyone here."

Negan looks suspiciously at him, "The fuck for?" It gets him a sigh as Rick puts the plate down on the table next to the bed. If he only had his other hand, he could grab the damn thing and start eating while Rick has his dramatic cry baby moment.

"There's walkers heading this way," Rick explains, "and we don't have the resources yet to dispatch them to a thin enough group. I'm running out of ideas and Daryl's thinking about traps to slow them down."

"Oh fer fuck sakes," the older man replies, waving his wrapped mit at the food plate, "You gimmy that damn food and I'll help yer whiny ass. I need something in my stomach if I gotta listen to you bitch more."

Rick picks the plate back up, totally forgetting he even set it down with all this crap on his mind, "Sorry. Here. Can I trust you to behave while you eat?"

"Go fuck yerself. I hate being in this god damn bed!" Negan snaps instead of giving him an answer.

Rick actually smirks at that, taking the keys out of his pocket and undoing the cuff on his left hand. He clips it shut, letting it dangle off the mans wrist while handing him a plastic spoon from inside Rick's pocket, "You sound like you're getting back to normal again. That's good, in some ways I guess."

Negan's between shoveling beans in his mouth when he starts asking questions, changing the topic off his health and onto business at hand, "How many?" Rick has to stop, unsure what he means at first. "WALKERS, idiot. How many?!"

"God yer cranky," Rick sneers before focusing on the conversation, "A lot, okay? Couple hundred. North west, coming down off the freeway."

Negan's sawing away at his hot dog with his fork when he mutters something under his breath, "and the bullets are low because we just faught. Again. Is Eugine actually doing his job now? Or is he gonna help blow your hand off too?"

"Eugine is doing what he can. We've got people working double shifts to restock ammunitions, but it won't be enough if they come at us all at once."

"Then we use our surroundings to our advantage," Negan murmurs before swooning over his first spoon of potato salad, "fuck that's good.."

Rick starts to smirk and Negan pauses his chewing, "Carol made it."   
It's like insult to injury, and Negan thinks twice about spitting back out, "Bitch didn't try to poison me, did she?"  
It makes Rick snicker more, chuckling before waving him to keep eating, "No, just eat the damn food."  
A few untrusting looks to Rick and he goes back to eating again.

"So what do you suggest? Is there already a safety plan in place for Sanctuary?" 

Negan nods, licking his lips and sucking the spoon clean before he tosses the paper plate onto the desk, "I might have a few things in place, yeah." He hints, clearly wanting something in return.

"Alright, I'll bite, what do you want? More time outside your room? More food that we can't spare? I'm not giving you back Lucille, so don't even try. You haven't earned her yet."   
He carefully tries to pull the apart the debate without setting it on fire, Negan's lip twitching at hearing his wife's name.  
"Better not be molesting her while she's away from me. Cause I'll break yer damn fingers till we match barbeque gloves," the threat lingers as he holds his injured hand up.  
"You gonna help or not? I'll start questioning other Saviors if I have to. Someone's gotta know something. Maybe that girl Arat knows something," he tries again and Negan just shakes his head.  
"Don't bother. The only other person who was smart enough to set up the inteded trap area was Simon, and Simon's dead ass is chained to the fence." He breaks and gives in, not really benifetting for his life if they ditch him here when the walkers come, "you wanna trade me somethin' that's gonna save this many people, then I want somethin' equally as detrimental to you."  
Rick flops his arms then plces his hands on his hips, "Then come up with something that doesn't hinder your punishment or set you free. I already saved you from Maggie. You'd be dead if I hadn't chosen."

"Screw the widdow crying over her dead 'Spring roll'! You took all my wives from me, and I ain't even got a hand that works to jerk off in!" Negan snaps, tugging frustraitedly at the cuff dangling on his wrist. "Not unless you wanna take this damn thing off."

Rick actually thinks about it. With Negan getting better, the worst he'd have to deal with was once his strength is back all the way. Right now he was still pretty floppy and over medicated, "If I take that off you, you know what I expect. No escapes, no violence.."

"Yes! Fine!!" The man yells in compliance, "No humping strangers! Don't chew the fucking shoes, I got it!"

Rick waves his hand over and Negan happy extends his arm out, over exaggerating once the metal is off. He happily groans and rotates his wrist around a few times.  
"We had a deal," Rick reminds him.

"Fuckin' buzz kill," his prisoner growls at him. "Show me. I wanna see this shit show for myself so I can get a feeling for how many bombs this shits gonna need."

Rick's ears pirk at the word 'bombs'. He wasn't aware the Saviors had any bombs.  
"Alright. I'll show you. But you keep your hands in your pockets when you're out of your room. Don't make me regret letting you out tonight."   
He waits for Negan to roll himself out of bed, the bigger man stumbling and catching himself on the side of the matress. He feels dizzy still despite the blood transfusion, the second IV bag still attached to his arm but empty.  
He grabs the tape and needle on the back of his hand with no disregard and rips it off, letting the IV needle and line drop to the floor, "Fucking hate those things."  
He tries a couple steps to Rick, blinking his eyes hard to focus, then grabs onto Rick's shoulder.

"Here. Just go slow, use me for support."

Rick puts his arm around his waist and hoists him up. He walks slowly, his feet slowly getting the feeling back into them as they start to move around. Negan grabs the fluffy house coat covered in dark blue hanging off the back of his door and pulls it on weakly, "Alright. Let's go. Ain't got all day."

They're a lot slower moving then the day before, when Rick brought him outside to do some digging, but they get where they need to go. There's a lot of staring though. With everyone getting ready for bed, they have to step carefully around all the sleeping bags lining the hallways. The place is packed to the teeth, and Negan is taking mental notes on which Saviors are here in this compound that he can pick out of the crowd.  
When they reach the outter deck, they step outside into a brisk chill. It may have been hot during the day, but the night suggested it will be changing soon to match the time of year, Southern Georgia nearly a month from fall. Rick picks up the binoculars he's left there and hands them to Negan, who's bundling himself in the house coat.  
He raises them up, being careful of his sore hand and looks out over the area, "Fuck that's a lot of dead heads.."

"All the shooting and noise the past week probably echoed towards town. It's better then an entire city, but it's still dangerous as hell," Rick brings up, remembering when he first met Glenn in Atlanta. Man, what he wouldn't give for a working tank now.

"It's do-able. It'll just be a fucking mess," Negan tells him before refocusing on another patch of highway. There are still cars out there that haven't been taken yet, but it's mostly for good reasons. Broken down, no gas, or just scavanged for parts already. He tries to remember what is left at Sanctuary that they can use to their advantage.

It's like a light bulb going off in his gead whe he remembers how they did this last time they had a group try to mess with his highway near Sanctuary, "Alright, I think I might have a plan or two. You ready for this?"

"Go for it," Rick looks open to just about anything right now...


	4. Penny for your thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short drive to Sanctuary answers some odd questions about Negan's personal life. Daryl hates his guts, as any kidnapped person should, AND a bit of mystery slinks around in Sanctuaries depths.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! More chapters done. Big fight comes up soon. For those waiting for Rick/Negan smut, it won't be too much longer. Victories will be bitter sweet.

Penny for your thoughts? 

 

Rick gathers his core leaders into the hall early the next morning. They need to get a head start on the day and begin preperations as soon as possible.   
Negan is also there, much to many people's disdain.   
Rick explains the offered plan on the table, also bringing up that a lot of the horde is still consentrated on the highway.

"So we do it like last time then?" Michonne asks.

"But on a massive scale. Negan has spools of heavy cable wire at the factory we can use. If we hook it up between some of the larger trucks, we can mow them down without worry of destroying any of the smaller cars."

Daryl is curious about when Rick and Michonne got to partake in such gorey activities without him, "Nice. Wish I could've seen that the first time around." He wonders about this plan. About how much the trucks can handle, "That's still a lot of walkers though. You seriously got the power to be getting hit by anything in the way that isn't gettin' chopped in half?"

Negan tips his head towards Daryl, that big white smile glued to his face, "Oh, I got ALL the big boy toys."

"Doesn't mean I trust you yet. Don't even look at me, yer fuckin' creepy with that goofy ass smile," Daryl sneers at him, hefting his crossbow by the strap over his shoulder.

"Alright, that's enough!" Rick puts his foot down before it gets worse.   
"I'll take Negan with me, and we'll get the trucks out of the factory, alright? Carol, take some help and prep who you can for any walkers that get this far. Daryl, you take Michonne on the bike and follow behind us in the truck." He looks like he's thinking again, mumbling out loud, "We'll have enough drivers, but we're gonna need some bait."

"You want bait to get um on the road? Ohhhh I got that too, sugar cakes," Negan purrs at Rick, still more then happy to be part of a giant massacre of killing stuff.

"Then we're outta here. Let's head out. Anyone not goin' to Sanctuary load up on weapons and keeps those walkers away from town. No noise."

Carol and a few other people staying behind give Rick handshakes and hugs good-bye, wishing the group luck with their plan. He's handed the keys, and watched until he's out the door to the front yard. 

With the sun in his face, Negan just takes a deep breath and waits by the vehicle. He's back into his leather jacket and jeans again, but has to forego his red scarf on account of his neck being wrapped up.

"You're seriously gonna make me do all this shit, and not even give me a weapon to defend myself with? Where's the trust, Rick?" Negan gripes as he climbs into the passenger side of the cab.

"If the plan goes the way it should, you shouldn't need one," His driver tells him back. "I have my gun, and the axe. Maybe you should be trusting me a little more to defending you," Rick mocks in return. 

He starts the truck up and waits for Daryl and Michonne to saddle up on the motorcycle before heading for the gates. The team on duty shoot down a walker or two with arrows, clearing the road quietly before opening the doors to let them out.

"Later losers! No fun for you!" Negan yells out the rolled down window, flipping the gate crew the middle finger.

Rick swats him while he's driving, threatening to do the window back up if he continues to be a jackass.

"Aww c'mon, Rick. I haven't held my baby in weeks. Where's my girl? All this adventure, and my woman's not invited? Shame on you. You should treat women with more respect," Negan pouts, just being annoying while they drive. 

He likes bugging Rick. He likes how blue it gets his eyes to look when they're pumped full of testosterone and adrenaline. They almost burn a butane blue, he thinks to himself. But Rick's doing a pretty good job today of just staying focused right now, not caring if Negan's going to act like a child or not.  
"I told you, you haven't earned her yet. You got your cuffs off, you're helping so you're outside, so stop complaining. You benifit from this just like everyone else here."

Negan shuffles in his seat, turning more to face Rick so he can watch for the reaction, "Would you give her to me if I sucked yer dick?" 

Rick jerks the steering wheel to one side, purposefully hitting a pot hole in the road. He can hear Negan's head hit the ceiling of the truck before the resulting curse words escape, "Fuck! Alright, jesus!"

His eye twitches when Negan doesn't turn forword in his seat just yet, "Y'know yer a hot piece of ass for such stuck up prick, Grimes." 

"Yeah right. Cause you suddenly got into men over night," Rick scoffs, "you loose too much blood to your brain? Do you need another IV bag?"

Negan shrugs slightly, not being one to tell people about his other, OTHER hobby, "Never said I didn't. I just wanted a child of my own again," he admits for shock value, "Last I checked, men can't squeeze a baby out of their junk, Rick."

So that was the intention behind having so many wives then? That made sense.   
But.. Negan had like, six or seven. So why were still no kids around that belonged to him?

"Do I need to really ask why you haven't been successful yet?" Rick questions while his eyes are still on the road.

"I don't fucking know anymore," Negan mopes with his elbow in the window and his knuckles propped under his jawline. "I thought it was about the women and shit at first. Fucking complicated timing. Ovulate this, wait until that. Time the shit out. But then your stupid 'doctor' asked how old I was when he was feelin' me up the first time in the clinic."

"So? So what?"

Negan looks irritated as hell when he glances to Rick again, "I'm getting too old, you dumb fuck. What, I gotta spell it for you?"

"What difference does it make? So what, you hit menopause? Is that why you're such an asshole half the time?"

Negan almost fully grabs the wheel from Rick's hands and veers them off the road.

Daryl has to slow down behind them as they swirve a bit, then stop on the side of the gravel shoulder, "The hell?" 

Negan jumps out of the cab then and starts to pace, Daryl quick to question what the hecks going on. Rick just stops him from getting off the bike, telling him it's fine, "He's fine. It's my fault. He just needs a minute to cool off."

"The fuck did you do, Rick?! Guy looks like a god damn time bomb! We don't have time for this shit!" The biker swears at him, but Rick just tells him to chill out for a few more minutes, giving Negan some breathing room. 

Daryl sits back down on his seat and does as he's told while Rick goes around to the side of the truck where Negan can only partly be seen walking back and forth.  
"Look, I'm sorry I offended you. We can talk about it more later," he tries to offer, but the man is still wound up and fuming, kicking the side of the truck several times with his motorcycle boot.

"FUCK! FUCKING, GOD DAMN IT! SON OF A... BITCH!" He bellows before finally calming himself down, rubbing his leather glove over his face.   
Rick watches, brows raised as Negan forces himself to do some breathing exercises until his blood pressure drops and his face isn't red anymore.

"You... okay?" Rick tests, walking carefully across eggshells.

Negan nods, still breathing through his flared nostrils. He just can't seem to make eye contact with Rick yet, so he just climbs himself back into the truck and closes the door, face covered with one hand.  
Rick motions to Daryl with his hand, swinging his finger in a circle to carry on, and the vehicles restart their engines.

Michonne asks him over his shoulder what that could've been about, but Daryl feels emotionally detatched from Negan.   
Ever since the jerk held him captive last, he not once showed any compassion for keeping him tied up in that damn cell.   
He kicks the brake up and revs the engine before they start moving again, "Doesn't matter," he says, his voice low in tone, "Guys a freak show."

\------

Maggie is there when they reach the gates of Sanctuary, her eyes tracking Negan in the pick up like she'll drop him with a bullet if he so much as breathes on her.

They pull in with the bike behind them and climb out, Rick giving Maggie a side hug. "What's news in Hill Top these days?" She asks, and Rick proceeds to explain about the walker horde closing in. She looks grim, "You have a plan, I hope?"

"We do, but we'll need to borrow supplies from Sanctuary and a few able bodies. Negan said there's some trucks stashed somewhere on site, and spools of construction wire?"

Maggie's eyes can't help diverting again to the man in question, wishing to drive a million daggers under his finger nails before beating him to death with that rediculous bat, "I know about the cable wire, but there have been truck bays we still can't get open without keys. I'm guessing HE knows where those are."

Rick looks to Negan, awaiting an answer. "As long as nobody moved shit in my room, they should be exactly where I left them."

"Then lead the way," Rick instructs, "You guys get that wire out and gather whatever cars you can that are expendable. If they die on the highway, they're stayin' there."

The group breaks apart then, Rick being led to the bottom of a flight of metal stairs, "This way, m'lady," Negan says to Rick, offering his elbow as a joke when they meet.   
"You feeling okay?" Rick asks him, ignoring his offering. Negan shrugs, not really ready to talk about it yet, "Okay enough to take a giant crap once we get there. I miss my room. My relaxing space. A mans bathroom is his comfort zone!" He muses stupidly as he climbs the stairs.

Once he's at the top, the white washed hallway is there waiting for them. Empty and echoing. But it's not the lack of people that causes Negan to freeze in place out of shock. It's what his eyes catch at the end of the hall.

Rick nearly runs into his back, "What's the hold up?"   
There's more then enough room to go around him, so Rick carefully circles around until he can see whatever he's staring at down the hall.   
"There's nothing there, Negan," he sighs, tugging on the mans sleeve. Negan refuses to budge. "What's with you? Come on, you need to find those keys."  
His face goes pale as Rick watches his expression drop, "Okay knock it off, you're creeping me out."

"Tell me... you can see that," Negan whispers to Rick, taking a step back.

Rick looks down the hallway again, "It's empty, Negan. Did you really hit your head that hard?"

He ignores Rick for now and starts to creep down the hallway towards the last door on the right. His previous bedroom, the long tail of a halucinated black cat slipping into the room as if it's leading him somewhere  
...


	5. Molly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the Saviors stole all those supplies from Alexandria, where did it go? Also, Daryl Dixion still hates you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooooo'... spooky. Lol. Don't worry. I'll explain the plot twist as we go.   
> Poor Negan. I kinda like picking on him. It's like karma coming back to bite him. Or Carl. Or Carl disguised as karma. Hmm. -shrugs-

The door creaks open as he pushes it, nothing in his room except dust and a lot of missing furnature.   
Negan suddenly feels confused by a number of things.

"Do I need to change your medication?" Rick asks as he follows him into the threshold of the empty room.  
"I'm.. not sure yet. Let me get back to you on that," Negan mumbles, checking under his abandoned sofa. Nope. No cat. His bed is long gone, leaving only the worn out green couch and some boxes in the corner.  
The bathroom door is open though, so he wonders in there next, pausing only when he sees Rick not knowing what to do with himself, "Check the breaker box by the door. Keys should be in there. I'll just be a minute."  
He kicks the door to the bathroom closed with his boot and proceeds to park himself on the can. At least the toilet paper wasn't stolen. It gives him a few minutes to sort his thoughts in privacy for a change, Rick not daring to go in there after him this time.  
He can hear the breaker box's squeeking hinge as it opens, and the jingling of keys once they're out.   
"Still here!" Rick calls to him, but he doesn't respond. His brain is fixated on why he just halucinated something he's feared but never had contact with since before the apocalypse.   
The sound follows of Rick sitting down on the couch to wait, dragging over a cardboard box to snoop in the contents.  
Figures, Negan thinks, give him two minutes alone and he's into your business.

He gets up, finishes up and goes to the mirror to wash his hands in the sink. Once his hands are clean he looks up and nearly needs to make use of the toilet again.  
"Boo!" Carl's reflection hoots at him.   
He slips and nearly lands on the floor, the sound of Negan hitting the drywall alerting Rick that he's needed.   
The box is ditched and he runs into the washroom, trying to help Negan off the floor with the same spooked look on his face, "Don't lie! What's happening to you?!"

"C-carl.. I swear. I just saw him. He was right there! I'm going fucking loony toons!" Negan says after straightening up.   
Rick looks so worried for him at the moment. For his mental health. He seriously wonders if he can be of use for this big battle or not.  
"Are you going to be a liability? Cause I can leave you here," Rick starts to tell him, but he's suddenly covered head to foot in Negan and almost has the automatic reaction to shove him off.  
"Just... give me a second to ground myself," he hears Negan sniff against his shoulder, "Just need to.. pull my head back on."

The silence makes Rick feel awkward more then the body against him, so he just puts his arms slowly around Negan's back and waits for him to want to move away, "Something happened last night, didn't it? Please tell me you saw him. I can't be the only person that dreams about him," Rick whispers.

He can feel Negan's shoulders stiffen before being pushed back out of the hug, the back of a leather gloved hand rubbing away some tears on an angry face, "You told me I didn't die on the operating table!"

"You didn't! I was right there. Your heart never stopped!" 

Negan looks suspicious again, like Rick's hiding something when he's not, "My WIFE was there. Why would they fucking be there if I didn't die?!"

Rick pinches the bridge of his nose, not having a logical answer to give. "I don't know. Look, I drempt about my wife when she died. But it was only a few times. And Carl. I go to sleep thinking about him, and then I dream about him. It's nothing to blow out of proportion."

Negan points to the bathroom mirror, then his bedroom door, "and these? What the fuck is this shit, then? Don't tell me it's the drugs, cause I feel fine!"

"We'd have to ask Siddiq if there are side effects to the medications you're taking or not," Rick sighs, but Negan feels nervous not having the answers in his hands, "I'm not a doctor. Let's just focus on getting rid of the walkers for now, making it safe so we have a place to treat you, okay?"

It sounds rational enough to calm him back down, Negan scratching at his hand a few times before leaving the bathroom, "Yeah.. yeah okay. Probably feel better once I get a few runs out of my system anyways."

Rick follows along behind him again as they leave the bedroom behind and head around several corridors. The metal gridded walkway ends abruptly into a heavy set of metal double doors.   
From the looks of it, Maggie certainly tried to have people open it, by the amount of crow bar markings around the edges.  
"When the boss tells you to stay out of his favorite toys, he means it," Negan says with a bit of pride coming back to him again.  
He pushes the doors open and Rick stands there, honestly impressed for a change.  
"Four dump trucks, and my PRIDE and joy I worked on all winter last year!"  
They walk around the trucks until they stop in front of the most terrifying fifth wheeler Rick has ever layed eyes on. It's huge, black, with a flame paint job up the hood, and a plow strapped to the front of it covered in protruding spikes. The wheel bolts follow suit with the spike theme, daring anything that gets near them to be shredded once they get spinning.

"Okay... this might actually do some damage," Rick says, running his hand over the nice clean exterior in awe.  
"Not bad, right?! She's Lucille's sister. I call her Molly," Negan swoons happily as he hugs the truck, arms taking up the width of the door frame.  
"She got gas? We won't be doin' much if she can't run," the voice says from behind him. He pulls away from the cold steel and tugs his jacket back down, waving a hand at Rick like he's joking, "Does she have gas. Pffft... Why do you think I took so much gas from Alexandria? Might have to share the wealth, but my baby gets the left overs." He gives the siding another pat before walking around the other side to climb into the drivers seat. He waves Rick to follow and unlocks the second door.  
Rick swings the passenger door open and climbs inside, looking around at the interior. It's obvious this is the area that's still under repairs, as theeather seats need new upholstry and the dash board some seriously new gage covers since the old ones have cracked. Still, it was pretty nice.

He swats the fuzzy dice with his finger, finding it amusing before watching as Negan digs out the keys and puts it into the ignition.  
The rumble from the behemoth is deep, and it makes Negan forget all about what happened inside, the smile lighting up his face like a spoiled brat, "Oh it's gonna feel like Christmas tonight!!"

He hits the garage door opener on the visor as a billow of dust drops down as the cargo bay door slowly starts to open.  
"Daaa.. daaaa... daaaaaaaaa! Dun dun!!" Negan shouts dramatically as people on the other side of the door gawk in disbelief.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Daryl whispers, taking his sunglasses off to properly see this truck from the worlds past brought back to life. "Hoooly shit..."

Even Maggie looks kind of stunned.

He slowly rolls it out of the bay, driving the front end around the corner so other dump trucks can make their way out if need be.  
He cranks the manual window down and gives Daryl the finger, "Suck THAT, Dixon!"

It actually makes the redneck smile a bit, "You been holdin out THIS THING, that whole fucking time?!"

"She wasn't ready. Had parts to replace, needed oil, spark plugs.. oh yeah, and the goood stuff," Negan rubs his finger tips together, "gasoliiiiiine."

Maggie nudges Daryl on the shoulder, looking back up at the semi, "You jealous?"

Daryl scoffs, definetly wishing he could have a turn in this thing, "Fuck yes."

They can see Rick open his door and climb out after telling Negan to shut it down for now. When they hop out, the whole lot of them just exchange looks as they meet, Michonne pointing to the other trucks in the bay, "So... do those work too? Or were they just guts?"

"Two, ladies and gentlemen, of those trucks work. Two out of four isn't usually that good, but lets weigh the pros and cons for a moment," Negan starts to boast, still quite happy he finally gets to drive his newly finished toy.  
"Con, the things guzzle gas faster then you can milk a cow. Pro, we can fit ten to fifteen people in a bucket and let them soot the ever lovin' piss out of things... while not being reached."  
"Con, you're an idiot. The driver has glass windows. He's not gonna be safe in there long if the walkers can get at um," Daryl joins in.  
"Pro... I might have a cure for that. A little something you assholes left when you came to visit Sanctuary last time," Negan replies, waving the group to follow.  
He walks them to the metal scrap yard where a bunch of metal reinforced car doors with slits for viewing lay littered on the ground.  
"Remember these? Yeah. Still here."

"That could work if we mount them to the outside of the cabin. What do you have, rivets? Welding?" Michonne pipes up with a hit of hopefulness.

"All of the above," Negan smiles evily.

"Grab us some help then," Rick smiles to Maggie, "We got us some dump trucks to glorify."


	6. Deals with the devil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Affection can be a powerful bargaining chip, if you apply it correctly. But Rick's never been with men. Never wanted to be! But risks are risks. He owes Negan a hell of a lot after this. Prisoner still or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha!! I love the thought of Negan having something that might impress Daryl. Daryl's a hard friend to gain when you've kidnapped him before and stuck him in an ugly sweater. Lmfao.
> 
> Glad people are loving this! It gives me the confidence to keep with it and pump out more chapters.  
> Here's some PG-13 lovin's to start with! Get ready for a giant mess next chapter! Yeehaw!

The workers begin the task of welding the armored windows to the trucks. If successful, these dump trucks could be some of the greatest investments the community has to inherit. So long as no one made a mistake and welded a dump truck door shut...

By the time Rick and Michonne are ready to call it a night, there are hardly any spots for them to bunk together. The odd couch here, the odd bed there. Rick just shrugs and tells her it'll be alright. He finds an air matress meant for someones pool, covered in random duct tape patchwork. Michone thinks it's funny.  
Rick gives her a kiss goodnight and says he'll see her in the morning. He's going to sleep in Negan's room for the night, where there's lots of room and he can continue to monitor him. When she asks why there of all places, he just avoids the topic of halucinations and makes up an excuse. One that she buys for now.

 

He saunters off down the hallway, only stopping one more time to peek in at where Maggie and Daryl are camped out in an old office with carpet flooring. The sleeping bags make it look like a couple of teen agers having a sleep over, but whatever. They laugh and joke and that makes Rick happy to see before taking on a risky event. It also helps that Daryl is getting her pretty liquored up off some hooch he's discovered in a near by fridge.  
Good-nights are exchanged and he moves on.

Continuing down the hall he finds a shelf with towels and grabs a few. Perhaps Negan will want a shower before he sleeps. He knows he does. With working in the bay, he now stinks of oil and other mechanical residue.  
He gives the room door a few warning knocks before coming in and closing it behind him. He tosses the stupid blow up matress on the floor before calling out, not seeing Negan anywhere.

"Bathroom," he hears the voice echo from inside. "Brought you a towel. Thought you might wanna wash up," Rick calmly calls again.  
He takes both with him and stops near the washroom door, unsure of what Negan was even up to in there, "Can I come in?"  
He only hears a quiet, uh huh, before pushing the door open. 

The other man is in front of the mirror, no shirt on, with a disposable razor in his hand, trying to scrape the stubborn facial hair out from under his nose that he missed. He swishes the razor around in the sink full of water, pausing to look at Rick in the reflection, "Found a spare. Not gonna try to slit your wrists in your sleep with it, if you're wondering."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence," he chuckles before continuing to watch from his place, "Can we talk? About the ride here? I just want to clear the air about things. One more complication between us is just going to make trust harder."

The plug in the water is pulled and Negan rinces his face clean of looming hairs before turning around and leaning against the sink, "Not much to talk about. My health is fine aside from all the 'holes' you helped make. Other then that, I'm fit as a fiddle. I'd help you fight more, if you'd fucking LET me. Though I guess I won't be able to hold much until this crap heals." He looks at his hand, which he's removed the bandaging off of for some fresh air. It's swollen, but he can almost move a few fingers, so it was a good sign.

"No, I won't stir the pot anymore about your... health conserns. I'm just wondering what to make of the comments. The ones conserning men. Should I be worried about my safety even more now?" He tosses one of the towels to Negan who uses it to dry his face without a thank you.

He scrunches his face, Negan still disliking the idea of rape even being mentioned around him, "I don't force anyone into sexual favors they don't already wanna do. Male or female, Rick. I thought I already made that clear?"

Rick nods, remembering him mention such things in the past while dealing with survivors he'd hit on. Even with his wives, he'd never forced them. It was choice. Be it that some of the choices were ultimatums, they were still rationaly made.

"Why? You think I'd make a move on you?" Negan asks him while closing the distance.  
It doesn't scare Rick, it just makes him uncomfortable. He stands his ground though and maintains solid eye contact with the other man until they're close enough to feel breathing exchanged.  
"Or do you just dislike my comment about sucking dick?"

Rick searches his face for tell tales, not really finding anything there about lies, "I don't swing that way. Michonne cares about me. Cares about my children. I care about her. We've bonded. How does that not deteer you from making comments like that? Being derogatory all the time?"

"Because I like you, Rick," Negan smiles, resting his head against the door frame. "Normally, I just take what I want. But that doesn't apply with you. I tortured you for months, taking supplies, taking hope.. but you kept fightin' back." Rick can feel the eyes wonder over him. It feels slimy. "I find that.. VERY attractive."

"But you've had women. You had possible men in Sanctuary to pick from too. Why come after me? Why bother me, or Carl? Because you wanted my family? Is this about envy? Or just greed?" Rick shakes his head around in confusion, finally showing signs of getting annoyed. Negan loves how his curls bounce around when he moves, even if they're sweaty and wet.

"Somethin' about your life, I think I wanted. To be part of your little family. A piece of the past that felt stable again. Where I wasn't drowing in chaos every friggin' day," Negan admits, still taking the odd glance over Rick's form. "The people here... they just wanna be lead. They. gave. up," he shrugs, "But you're like me. A real survivor. I can't break you."

Rick is forced to look back on his life. To all the times he's broken down, screaming and crying over people he's lost. Lori, Carl, all the survivors who died during his battles with The Governor.  
Hurshel.  
It makes his heart ache, "I beg to differ. I'm no better then anyone else. I can break. I just don't break for YOU."

Negan looks intruged by this. He reaches his good hand over and tries to toy with Rick's hand then. Just brushing fingers. Rick yanks his hand back and shakes his head at him, "I said no, Negan." But determined to have him somehow, Negan starts to twist things into his grasp, "And what about all this help I'm dishing out, huh? You said deals would be made."  
He chews his bottom lip, looking devious as hell, "Nothing out of the guidelines you made, right? Just some affection?"

It makes Rick scrunch his face, "No! And you're taking it too far. If you want someone to have sex with, I can ask around the camp later. But don't be surprised if no one wants to be with you anymore."

"Which is why I'm askin' you!" Negan tries again. He tries to touch him with his fingers, reaching over and tugging his fingers into the pocket of Rick's jeans. He's pulling him closer, but his hand is slapped, forcing him to let go, "If I start giving you things you want, you're gonna run rampant and take it all!"

Negan starts laughing at this, voice echoing through the bathroom as he mocks how serious Rick is about defending his no-men stupidity, "Come on. You probably never even kissed a guy before. Don't start gettin' heebie jeebie over shit you ain't tried."

Rick pauses, suddenly wondering just what exactly Negan was trying to propose with his 'deal', "That's all you want out of this then? Some kissing?" He eyes him, "You're lying..."

Negan feels his stomach flutter. He's got a bite on the line. Now he just has to be careful not to lose it!  
"Cross my heart and hope to die! I wouldn't DARE touch your ass unless you gave me full consent. Honest 'ta god. Little cuddling goes a long way."

Still cautious, Rick weighs the options a moment longer. The ten-foot poll he wouldn't touch Negan with, is slowy getting wittled down to the length of a pencil. But the thought of Michonne comes up again. What she'd think if she found out.

Negan can see by the conflict in his face it probably revolves around her. Rick was a devoted man. Monogamous. Had values that showed morality and all that.  
So he pulls the most useless card out of his pocket he can muster, "If I refrained from doing it in public, or telling anyone, would you calm the hell down?"

It still doesn't feel right, but Rick's curiosity is getting the better of him. It made sense why Negan wanted it so bad. He hated being single all that time without Lori around. Before he even fell in love with Michonne. It tore him apart. He was lonely and wanted to tear his hair out.

He finally looks at Negan and nods, not speaking about it at first.

Negan spots the victory and his face lights up, looking nearly as bright as when he sat in the semi and got it started. The look on Rick's face, however, is bright red and embaressed. He's consumed by anxiety, not knowing what to expect from someone so... unpredictable.  
Negan closes in and puts both hands to Rick's face, cupping his cheeks and resting their foreheads together, "You will NOT regret this." The first kiss is just a simple peck on his lips, Negan letting go and sucking him into a bear hug.

Awkward. 

"Oh my god, I didn't think I'd EVER get you to say yes!" Negan squeels, squeezing again. Rick just wheezes, slightly crushed, and pats his back a few times. He's suddenly let go when Negan gets an idea and starts searching the bathroom for what else might've got left behind, "Oh my god.. I gotta brush my damn teeth. Can't kiss people with scummy teeth."

Rick just watches him, brows raised again, "Can I.. get cleaned up a little? I smell like oil still." It's like he isn't even heard as Negan digs through the cupboards, leaving everything open in his wake, "Yeah, sure, whatever."

"By myself, please?" Rick chimes in after. 

Negan stops digging and sidles up to him, leaning over to kiss his scruffy cheek, "Sorry. Just excited. I'll just.. go. Now." He says before backing his way out of the bathroom and closing the door.  
Rick is shaking his head, starting to undress when he nearly jumps out of skin, hearing a loud, "YUSS!!!" From the other room.  
'Such a child,' he thinks to himself before continuing and hopping into the shower to get clean. 'Just take it slow, Grimes. He's human just like you are. Just... do what you normally do.'

He takes a good, hot, twenty minute shower before the water starts to turn cold. Oops? He must've got lost in thought while washing. It's happened before, but he feels kind of guilty since there 'was' another person waiting to get in.  
He dries off, putting just his boxers back on to sleep in, and exits the washroom to find Negan already passed out on the couch.  
He's sleeping with his leather jacket thrown over his bottom half, one leg and arm hanging off the side of the sofa while he snores.  
"Must've burned himself out," he snickers, tugging his matress over next to the couch. He decides not to wake him, just flicking the light off before climbing onto his air filled bed. He lays there a bit, looking at Negan's face through the darkness before looking down. Down at the broken hand hanging off the couch. He reaches over to touch the blue and purple brusing up his thumb, stroking the backs of his fingers gently under the pads of the bigger hand.  
He convinces himself this can't be all that bad. He just had to be patient and keep correcting his behaviour if he wanted Negan to change.

"Can teach an old dog new tricks, if you just keep trying, I guess," he tells himself in the dark before closing his eyes. "Carl... I hope you don't hate me for this."


	7. My love for you is like a truck...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time! Trucks gathered, they roll out onto the cooling Georgia speedway with destruction on their minds.
> 
> Along the way, a nightmare decides to show itself. Daryl decides it's his new best friend, and Negan decides he doesn't need more reasons to avoid Daryl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Listens to opera and symphony while playing GTA, driving around in the tanks-   
> Oh hi again.. smut next chapter. Thank you to everyone who's stuck around this long! And to a commenter who brought up Maggie being pregnant ad drinking!! I'm so sorry x.x I keep thinking she's already had it or isn't having it. I don't often pay attention to her much while watching Season 8! MY BAD!

He's dreaming about the past, walking with Carl to the park when the dreamjng abruptly stops. Rick wakes up feeling small pains radiating down his legs; a pushing that makes the bones ache.  
When his eyes open, he realises it's still the dead of night, no sign of the sun coming up for a long time. The pain is no bigger then someones thumb, but it creeps up his legs until it stops at his stomach, Rick almost afraid to see what it is.   
He's seen Daryl catch everything from raccoons to opossum in the area, and his first reaction is that whatever is crawling on him may have wondered in from outside.. but looking around, there's no open windows in the room.

He carefully lifts his hand to touch whatever's sitting on him, feeling fur through his fingers. 'Don't startle it, or you'll get bit', he tells himself in his head.  
He reaches next to his matress for his belt, pulling the small mag light out of it's pouch and screws the top until the light turns on.  
He blinks a few times, readjusting, then points the light down towards his legs.  
With the pressure instantly gone, he sits up and listens for footsteps or claws in the dark, some sort of sound even indicating it jumped down off him. But there's nothing.

The light is pointed towards the floor before Rick reaches over and tries to shake Negan. He's still snoring, but he coughs and snorts before waking up, "Wha.. whuus'matter..."

Rick hears something then, skittering into the bathroom. Apparently Negan hears it too, cause he's awake on a dime and sitting up on the couch, "The fuck was that?"

"Something got in. Animal. It's not too big, just stay quiet and help me keep it in the bathroom," Rick wispers, unpoping the holder on his hatchet and sliding it free.  
They both walk carefully across the floor, Negan deciding to stay in behind in case Rick starts swinging his weapon around.   
The flash light catches a pair of reflecting eyes in the corner, by the toilet, and Negan quickly closes the door, trapping everyone inside the bathroom.  
"Gonna turn the light on, watch your eyes," he warns before flicking the switch.  
Ready for an attack, Rick coils down closer to the floor and waits till he can see what it is before hacking it to bits.

The light pops on, blinding everyone but the small black cat now trapped behind the toilet. It growls at Rick, showing signs of fear with it's ears pushed back.  
Negan groans out like he doesn't wanna suddenly be in the room anymore, "Oh god.. it is real. Kill it. Please kill it."   
It hisses a few times and Rick backs up, putting the axe down on top of the closed toilet seat to show he means no harm, "Quiet!" He whispers harshly, "don't freak him out. It's okay, kitty.. no one's gonna hurt you. Probably feral. I wonder if it's eaten in a while. Looks a little skinny."

Negan can't take his eyes off it, back against the door as he searches for the knob. 

His memory takes him back to his childhood when his Grandmother's cat scratched the hell out of him in diapers, then several other times growing up where it would show signs of aggression, backing him into corners as a child and swatting at him. Negan was offically NOT a cat person.

Oh, and of course he remembers Shiva, Ezekiel's trained tiger that wanted to chew his face off. That always helps too. So when Rick manages to pick the cat up into his arms and calm it down, he's out of the bathroom in record speed.  
"NOPE. Not today!" He blurts before quickly escaping outside and re-closing the door. It leaves Rick petting and scatching the animal under the chin, and no Negan to be worried about, "Um.. hello?"

By morning, the cat has remained in the bathroom due to Negan refusing to let it out. Rick leaves the sink tap on and sighs as it meows sadly to be let out. It gives up after about ten minutes, the same time used to beg Negan to stop being such a wimp. Eventually, they go to sleep, Negan curled up like he's not thrilled Rick didn't turn the cat into a pair of slippers.

Early morning comes and everyone wakes up to meet in the cargo bay, including Rick with his new buddy.  
Of course the girls are all over it, cooing and holding it like it's more adorable then Judith, (which is practically impossible).   
"I thought I heard somethin' last night," Daryl says, taking a turn to pet the kitty, "Was in your room?" 

"Must've got in with the door open. Was silent all night till he came and tried to sleep on me. Gave us a good scare. Thought it was somethin' for dinner," Rick drawls in his Gerogian accent.   
Daryl picks the cat up and puts it into his biker vest once the girls are done swooning, zipping it up until just it's head pokes out.   
"I'll handle the fleas for now. Let's just get this show on the road."

Everyone agrees on this. It's about high time some zombies get off their land.

A gathering of about ten people is all they needed. Michonne and Maggie get their own dump trucks, while Daryl is assigned to direct traffic from the back of a truck bed. He's given a bright orange traffic flag and a bull horn, being told that if anyone can't see, then he'll be their eyes.  
They've all plowed through walkers before. They know how bodies pile over windshields, guts everywhere. It's unavoidable. This at least covers that problem.  
"So with Daryl on point, the semi in the middle, we wrangle as many walkers as we can between here... and here. That's six lanes of highway. No small cars go inside this zone. When the signal is given, get out of the way, and we'll do the rest. Everyone clear on the plan?" Rick announces, a map drawn out onto the assembly room floor big enough to be seen.

Everyone agrees, seeming ready to cause some chaos.

Fully automatic weapons and shot guns are handed out to people who will be in the backs of the truck beds along side Daryl. The drivers are given some as well, just in case, but for the big picture the gun amount is small. They pray this will help with ammo consumption in the long run, letting up the slack on Eugene back at camp.

They all get into their cars, Rick climbing into Molly's passenger seat with his two way radio. He messages the two women in the dump trucks once they start to roll out, "stay close together until we reach the highway. I'll hook you onto the spool on the back of the rig when it's time."

The ten-four is clear, and Negan is happy again to be back behind the wheel. The only thing bugging him is the sight of Daryl with the cat in his vest. Just one more reason to stay the hell away from the red neck.

"So.. not a cat-guy, I guess," Rick asks as they drive, window down so he can ejoy the fresh air while he can.  
"Have you ever had a Siberian tiger chase you, Rick? It's not pleasent," he hears Negan grumble.  
"No. I guess not. Sorry I asked," he apologises. "Aside from finding the cat last night, did you sleep okay?"  
Negan's eyes stray from the road, just for a moment to look at him, "...I guess. Why?"

Rick shrugs, "Just wondering." 

Negan's eyes narrow at the road, then a smile creeps in, "You gettin' sweet on me already, Rick? All... conserned about my well being. That's cute as hell."

"I'm pretty sure I was always worried about your well being. Right since I cut your neck open," Rick reminds him.

"Still. This is turning into a nice friendship right here," he teases, waving a finger back-n-forth between them.

Rick feels that blush creep up again and tries to suppress it by focusing on the highway coming into view, "Whatever. Keep yer damn eyes on the road," he snickers.

A pair of binoculars come out and Rick watches as everyone reaches the road safely. He motions to Negan to start his noise distraction, telling him to hit it.   
"Hold onto your tail feathers," he mutters before putting the petal to the floor. 

Rick quickly buckles his seatbelt and rolls his window up, unsure why Negan is heading straight into the massive horde, "What the hell are you doing?! This isn't part of the plan!"

Negan just ignores him, speed increasing until the dial gets stuck at a hundred. They're plowing through the mess of zombies with ease, Negan pulling the cord above his head for the air horn a few times. Rick plugs one ear, cringing and smiling at the same time as Negan yells like a lunatic, "Wooohoooo!!"

They screech to a halt after the plow tosses a couple randomly parked cars out of the way. By Rick's guess, they're smack dab in the middle of the wave.   
The radio comes to life with Michonne screaming why they were out there.  
Negan reaches over and steals the radio before Rick gets to say anything, the box nearly to his face, "I got this. Just stay there. I'm gathering up the stragglers."

Michonne growls at him over the radio as he tosses it back into Rick's lap and pulls the horn a few more times, "If you think you're in charge again..."  
Rick winces at the horn, unable to hear the rest of what she says. He's almost possitive it's on purpose too, Negan looking over to him with a wink.  
"Yer such an ass..." HOOOONK!!!

Yep. Definetly on purpose.

He sticks the truck in reverse once the cabin starts to rock back and forth a bit with walkers pushing outside. Then the tape is pushed into the cassette player and blaring opera music is projected inside AND outside the truck.   
They're headed at half the speed they came when Negan picks up the radio mic, his voice shooting out of speakers somewhere on the roof of the semi, "Alright racers... wrangle um up! You get five mins, and then the show starts!"

Rick can't be more surprised right now. He has to yell so he's heard over the music, "What the hell is this?! Why didn't you say you had this set up?!"

"You wanted to attract them all! So I did!" Negan laughs, bouncing in his seat as they smash THROUGH another abandoned car.  
"What's the matter?! Don't like opera?!"  
Rick scowls, plugging his ears with his fingers, "It's too loud in here!!!"  
He sees Negan reach for a dial and turn the music completely off. If it's for Rick's sake or the fact they're back over to the dump trucks, he doesn't know.  
Rick lowers his hands, ears ringing just a touch.  
Negan looks over and smiles again, "I like opera. I find it relaxing."

Rick just scoffs and jumps out of the truck, ditching Negan by himself to wait. He can see the smaller cars on the road, pushing the edges of the horde into position while he meets with Michonne behind the semi, "The hell was he thinking?! The entire state might've heard that!"  
He hands her a heavy steel hook that's been welded to cable like while he takes the second, "I told him to attract them with noise. I just didn't think it'd be THAT much noise..."  
"I'mma strangle his dumb ass later!" Michonne angrily says as she stomps off back to her truck and the people waiting in the back.  
Rick sighs and takes his hook to Maggie's truck, hooking it onto the giant hitch on the back. He gives the truck a couple bangs with his hand, but hears her over the radio as he starts to jog back to the semi, "You should've let me kill him, Rick." He hears her say.   
He smiles, knowing it's more of a joke this time around, "I know. Trust me, I know."

With the trucks hooked up, the spread apart into a formation that pulls the cords tight. As long as no one breaks, this will be epic.  
Rick climbs back into his seat and shuts the door, looking over to his driver, "The girls aren't impressed. You could've told us first."  
"But then it wouldn't have been a surprise!" Negan whines.   
Rick points ahead of them, seeing that the cars on their team have now backed off. The shufflers have started coming this way, following where all the noisy music last came from. Negan wrings his good hand around the truck's steering wheel, the leather glove making a stressing sound.  
Rick gets back onto the radio and annouces to get ready.  
Everyone's engines start up, revving loudly.  
Anyone inside the dump trucks rear are laying down to avoid any impacts or possibly getting hurt once they break.   
When Rick tells him to, Negan lays onto the horn again and they start moving fast.

Anything on the freeway is now devoured by wire slicing clean in half. Zombies, cars, trucks, even a bus doesn't survive! They're going about eighty each, and with the cord pulled tight, it's like wire through butter.

There's loud cheering over the radio once they reach the end, the race probably the wickedist three kilometres they've ever done in the after math of the world ending.  
They all go a bit farther from the damage zone before jumping out and running to each other, so happy that they got it done.  
Rick exchanges hugs and hand shakes, telling people it's not quite over yet. They now have crawlers left to deal with, and plenty of time to deal with them safely. 

Negan stands next to Michonne as Rick gets help to unhook the cables, "What? No hug for me?" It earns him a swift smack across the face. His eyes snap shut as his head turns, rubbing his jaw after as she bitches him out on not telling anyone about the noisey speakers.  
"You put us at risk because you wanted to show off! Not only that, but you took Rick with you into your recklessness. That's a no brainer from me. You hurt him, and I'll cut yer damn head off!"

Sheesh. She was protective over Rick. He shrugs and casually just explains that they were perfectly safe inside the truck, "You should be thanking me!" He yells to her as she walks away from him, "Just say, Thank You Negan!! You saved our asses... from the masses! Just like that!" 

She's the one to give the finger this time, climbing back into her dump truck to be alone.

"Alright, everyone back into the trucks. We'll drive slowly so people can shoot from above, where it's safe. Don't need people getting ankles or legs bit. We'll meet you back at Sanctuary. If there are problems, Maggie and Michonne both have radios and will contact me immediately," Rick says, taking very good leadership control again to the groups that are left. 

Once they break, he gets back into the semi with Negan and starts to head back to the factory.   
He lets out a loud sigh, rolling the window open again and laying in the breeze. Just feeling a huge weight off his shoulders,  
"That was easily more then we estimated at the house."

"Probably dropped enough to keep the area quiet for some time though. That's grade A, right there," Negan replies, "Can't tell me having hundreds of those things dead doesn't make you feel a little safer."

"It would have, if you hadn't blasted music loud enough to attract the tri-city area!" Rick griefs him. "Where's the common sense?"

"We can clean up whatever comes again. It's bound to happen anyways. We can do it your way next time. You wanna do it quiet, we can do it quiet..."

Rick looks at him, just angry Negan thinks he can take charge and run with his own ideas, "See, this is exactly what I talked about when I said No to you last night. I should've known you'd grab on and wreck the hell out of things. No more leeway! You're gonna earn every inch you get from here on out!"

Negan shrinks down a little, shunned for doing what he thought was fun more then what probably could've been helpful.   
"God yer pushy when someone doesn't do EXACTLY what you want! Hypocrite!"

They argue until they get back to Sanctuary, throwing insults back and forth until they get back into the bedroom where people don't have to hear them yelling.   
There are no updates on how it went. No greetings to anyone there. They just hear the yelling and avoid, knowing it's probably best not to ask until the cloud has blown over. They hear the door slam shut, and then it's back to regular silence as people go back to work doing what they were doing.

Inside the room though, it's a quick 180 as they go in, slam the door shut then stare each other down. Rick is anticipating a fight to break out, but Negan's got other plans...


	8. Steam cleaned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the plan successful, Rick lets the team clean up while he returns the semi(with Negan) back to Sanctuary.  
> A fight nearly breaks out between the two, but Negan's begging seems to do the trick to mending a lot of old wounds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ** WARNING!! ** SMUTTY STUFFS BELOW!
> 
> Knows most people have seen the m/m story tags already, but I warn anyways. I continue to try and keep the guys in character to the best of my ability, but DAMN that can be tricky!
> 
> Anyways, here you go. Don't drop the soap.

The door slams shut and the staring contest begins, both refusing to back down to the other. Rick unbuckles his work belt, Negan not knowing what the hell he's doing until he opens the bedroom door and tosses it out. He's turned around, locking the knob on the door before staring him down face to face again, "No weapons. You're gonna fight fair or not at all."

It causes Negan to snicker, "Atta boy. Always the boyscout. Toatin' yer rules. You feel better after gettin' all that b.s out of your system? Or do you really wanna slug it out more?"

Rick had his fists up, ready to defend himself if he was to be cornered, but they lower some onced he's asked that, "Do you? Cause I'm prepaired to stick my fist down your throat and my boot up your ass if you try it.."

It makes Negan flash his trouble maker smile, "So feisty!" He holds his hands up, mocking surrender as he closes in, nearly bumping chests with his target. "You wanna kiss and make up?" He purrs.

It makes Rick's neck hairs prickle, like he still wants to slug him, "I'd rather take a shower, if that's an option."

This sounds good to Negan too, but obviously not the way Rick would prefer, "Can I scrub your back?" He asks with a brow wiggle.

A hand comes up between them, making some distance so Rick and breathe and think properly, "Will it make you leave me alone for a while so I can have a nap after?"

"Yes sir," Negan sing-songs.   
It gets him to release Rick from in front of the door, the other man heaving a sigh of released pressure. A shared shower wouldn't kill him, he tells himself.   
He's had communal showers at the police station in the past, and highschool was so far back it shouldn't even phase him anymore. He's undressed and washed up in rivers with Glenn and Daryl near by in the past too, so he's not exactly shy either.  
If anything, this was just a way to share water and give Negan his so-called "affection time" he wants so bad.

"Better grab some clean clothes and some fresh towels if you wanna do this," Rick sighs, turning to open the door. He's ready to bend over and pick his belt up off the floor when their mystery cat comes waltzing up to him with a chirp.  
"Hey you. I thought Daryl took you?" He pets the cat and peeks behind him to see Negan isn't there. Probably for the best, he thinks, closing the door behind himself.  
"Little bugger jumped out of my vest before we left. All the trucks makin' noise likely scared the pants off him." Rick looks up to see Daryl coming down the hall, scooping up the animal into his arms and giving it neck scratches, "Gonna go give him a bath. Get rid of some of these fleas so we don't bit, then see if we can't find him something to eat. Right bud?"

Rick is happy to hear that the cat seems to trust them enough to stick around now, so he leaves Daryl to it, "Here's praying he doesn't turn into a blender when you clean him. Just be careful, okay?"  
But Daryl's already walking away, yelling to people out in cargo bay that he's found the cat again.

Rick yanks a couple towels off the rack where he found the last ones and heads back inside the room. He can feel the heat from the bathroom right away, steam filtering out from the door left open a crack. He leaves his gun belt and weapons there, nudging them under the couch with his boot. He figures it's better to just have them out of sight in case they start fighting for real next time.

He pulls his shirt off over his head and walks to the washroom door, letting himself in. He can barely see through the steam as he pulls his boots off, sitting down on the toilet seat. "Cat's back," he informs, hearing Negan quickly stop moving inside the standing stall, "Daryl said he bailed before we left for the highway. Trucks scared him. He's okay though. Daryl's gonna clean him up."

"As long as it stays away from me, Dixion can marry the damn thing if he wants to," Rick hears the deeper voice say from under the water.   
He shucks his pants and walks over, quietly requesting entrance after gathering up the nerve. The glass door opens, a soaking wet face and head full of black hair welcoming him, "Do I get a kiss first? Or do I need to charge an admission fee?"  
Rick stuffs his head back into the stall with his palm and steps in, closing the door.   
It's nice and hot in there this time and he hopes it lasts longer then his measly twenty minutes he had before.

He can feel the eye groping again when he leans his head back into the falling water to soak his hair. "Not bad," he hears, "still think you got a cute ass."   
He opens one blue eye, glaring as if to tell Negan that he's not thrilled about being hit on right now, "It's nice cause I worked it off. That's the after effects," he jokes tiredly.  
"I don't doubt that," Negan replies while lathering up a bar of soap. "Can I touch you? Or will it get me an elbow in the eye?"

Rick does his best not to be hyper aware of the man behind him then, just resting his forehead against the tiled wall before answering, "Above the waist is fine, I guess."

"As you wish," he hears before a strong hand comes up and starts to massage soap into his neck and shoulders. It melts him inside, a heavy sigh escaping as the other man moves closer behind him to rest his forehead against the nape of Rick's neck.  
"I'm sorry I fucked up again," he mumbles loud enough so that he's heard over the water. "I'm sorry I keep pissing you off. I think it's just in my nature."

Rick is listening but remaining quiet, kind of wishing Negan's other had could be joining in for this massaging thing if he has to just stand there.   
"I just want to hear that you can forgive me. So I can keep trying," he hears Negan say before feeling a pair of lips against his freshly washed shoulder. Forgiveness? So he really did want to change then. That was good to hear.  
"I forgive you. For today, anyways," Rick says quietly back. "There's a lot of damage left from the past that we can't take back. But I believe what Carl said. It can't all be won with fighting."

"Which is why I want to trust you, Rick. To lead me away from this, from what I am. To teach me that there is another way then the one I found."

Rick pushes away from the wall and turns around, taking both of Negan's hands and putting them around his hips so he's letting Negan hold him, "I think.. that if you stay on the path you're on, you'll change for the better, Negan. Do you think you can keep doing that? Helping us? Because we DO need you."

He'd cry if his eyes weren't already speckled in shower droplets, "That.. means a lot, coming from you. You accept me then? What about the others?"   
Rick's hands are on his face, pulling him in for a chaste first kiss, "Don't think about it."  
It triggers something in Negan that he wants desperately as he kisses back. 

His hand flexes at Rick's hip before it comes around in front of them. Between them. It searches only a few inches over before finding what it wants.   
Rick jumps slightly, breaking off the kissing so he can look down at the hand trying to jerk him into full stiffness, "What are you.."  
"Let me make you feel good," Negan almost begs, giving his pair of puppy eyes. It's leaving Rick breathless, unable to move as they maintain eye contact, Negan dropping down onto his knees, "Please."  
And poor Rick looks so awe struck, paralyzed, that he just stares as Negan snakes his tongue out and gives a test lick.  
It makes him shutter then, reaching out to grab a fist full of black wet hair before pulling Negan's head closer towards his hips. It's all Negan needs to confirm that he wants this too.

He feels his knees quiver a bit when the pair of lips part and start to take him in.  
Negan's blinking through the shower water a bit before closing his eyes and sucking back more girth. There's a deep moaning sound of approval from him that makes Rick's hips want to start moving, jerking forward, but he does his best to just stay still and enjoy what's being done to him.  
'Mouth is good for something other then talking,' he hears his mind whimper. 'Oh god, comon. Speed up.'

It's when he can't take anymore that he feels a hand on his ass, kneeding before gripping hard. His length is swallowed all the way, making him cry out before it's pulled back and done once more. It picks up speed, his hand tightening in Negan's hair until he finds he can't stop himself from moaning and panting. It's too good, and it's only a few minutes before he yanks Negan's head back blows his load, hitting him along the side of his face.

Negan stands up, scraping a finger across his cheek bone to remove some mess.   
"Feel good sweetheart?" He licks his finger clean, making Rick involuntarily tremble again from the sight. Negan just smiles, taking his own aching hard on into his left hand and starts to tug, "Drempt about that for a looong time."  
He leans in and kisses the woozy Rick, the ex-sheriff moving in to help him with his work, "Let me try this. It's the least I can do in return." He picks up the injured hand and kisses the knuckles first before setting it free and going to work. He pushes Negan's left hand away and replaces it with his own, fingers firmly wrapped around a dick that's not his. He hears Negan click his tongue before biting down on it in the corner of his mouth, breath hitching a few times.  
"Hmmmm, that's good. Always better when it's not your own," he purrs, tugging Rick back over so he can devour his mouth. 

They slide against each other in the hot water, feeling it finally start to cool and give up on keeping them heated.   
Negan shoves the tap off when it starts to get too cold, but never stops kissing. It's feverish, desperate in speeding up, as Rick's wrist keeps increasing. It gets to the point where he has to break away so he can pant in shallow breaths, tilting his head back so he can moan Rick's name.  
His voice is caught between a drawn out groan and a howl as he grabs Rick's shoulder, "Fuuuuuuuck..."   
Brows arch as he mumbles multiple times that he's getting close, and then it's over. The sparks shoot straight up his spine and he spills over Rick's and onto his stomach.  
He shutters, convulsing as Rick gives a few extra pulls before letting go.  
"Well, that was liberating," Rick smirks, leaning up to give Negan's lips a few more kisses. The bigger mans head lays back against the wall as he groans again, "Ugggggh I needed thaaaat..." 

"I bet," Rick teases him again, looking at the mess over his hand. He gives warning before turning the shower back on. It threatens to go cold very soon, but keeps on luke warm long enough they can quickly clean and bail out. "Both gonna need a nap now," Negan remarks, wrapping himself in a towel and flopping himself onto the couch. 

When Rick comes out, he does the same, climbing onto the only sliver of sofa left. He puts his arms around Negan, the other doing the same as well so he won't roll off.  
"Thank you," Rick says to him after a second. Negan's voice sounds tired, but he's still awake, "What for? I begged you for it."  
"It just made me realise things. About loving people. About gender, I guess."  
Negan turns his head, looking down at the head resting against his chest, "Good. First step is usually the hardest. No pun intended."  
It earns him a weak punch in the gut and he oof's before laughing, Rick's face turning red from embarrassment, "Shut up and go to sleep. Friggin pervert."

They both chuckle a bit more before settling down, Rick running his fingers through what short chest hair Negan has growing across his pectorals. He's nussled and cuddled until he hears Negan start to snore. When he closes his own eyes, he has no idea anyone has been standing on the other side of the door for the past five minutes... listening to them talk.


	9. WRITERS BREAK! PLEASE READ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please read inside the break. It explains lots.

Hello followers. I wanted to let people know that I WILL be continuing this story after a short hiatus. I had a wickedly naughty idea for another fic based off Walking Dead and needed to get it out!

Feel free to come read it if:   
\- You liked Season 1  
\- Thought Dr.Jenner should've lived  
\- Like seeing alternate endings go completely over the top/nuts.  
\- Wanna see Negan get mildly tortured and/or sexually messed with. 

Like I said. Nuts.  
I had a "What if" moment and it went spiraling out of control. Heh..

**Author's Note:**

> All characters belong to The Walking Dead TV show, don't sue me please.  
> I'm new to the website but have read here for YEARS. If you like the story, please like and reply. I will continue this as a series if it becomes popular enough.


End file.
